Keith Balmer Shines Some Light On American Idiocy

March 5th, 2012

Man, I do grow tired of "lists that prove blah, blah, blah." Balmer's latest is a notable exception:

"50 Reasons America Is A Dumb Country

I have always believed that America is a dumb country. And now I get to prove it. This is my collection of bizarre facts and mini-rants. This is funny, but in a sad way.

Read on

1. 24 percent of Americans can’t name the country we fought in the Revolutionary War.

2. Two-thirds of Americans don’t know what’s in Roe vs. Wade

3. Half of all Americans don’t know how many U.S. Senators each state has.

4. 29 percent of Americans don’t know who the Vice President is.

5. 40 percent of Americans don’t know the three branches of our federal government.

6. 58 percent don’t know who the Taliban is, even though our soldiers have been fighting and dying in Afghanistan for TEN FUCKING YEARS!

7. 18 percent of Americans think the sun revolves around the Earth!

8. On the eve of the Iraq War, 69 percent of Americans thought Saddam Hussein was responsible for the attacks on 9/11. Eight years later, 34 percent STILL BELIEVE THIS SHIT!

9. Harold Camping, a 90-year old phony preacher with a ministry worth 80 million dollars, convinced a bunch of intellectually-challenged people that the world was going to end on May 21st at 6pm. His followers spent months warning the world that the rapture was coming. They gave away their earthly belongings and drained their savings accounts. That day came, and it went, and no rapture. On May 21st at 7pm I posted this to my twitter account:

"I'm cracking rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow!"

10. Millions of people watch reality TV. This amazes me. I HATE REALITY TV. I hate every one of those damn Basketball Wives. I hate the Real Housewives. I hate the Duggars. I hate Kate Gosselin. I hate The Apprentice. I hate the Bachelor. I hate the Bachelorette. I hate all of them. I don't give a flying fuck about these people. This is trainwreck TV at its worst. I love great scripted television (i.e. Justified, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Parks and Rec, Community). But I cannot stand reality TV. I think Miami Herald columnist Leonard Pitts summed it up perfectly in a recent column when he said:

"There is something predatory in searching out these troubled people, these drunks and narcissists, these self-centered, superficial plastic surgery junkies, these screechers and whiners and perpetual adolescents with daddy, esteem, or anger management issues, and pay them to let us watch them implode."

There's 40 more HERE. Go Keith!