Things You Can't Make Up - Obama Eligibility Edition

Feb 24th, 2012

You know how rational people always question the racial motiviations of the self-declared "birther" movement?

You know how "birthers" usually get really bent out of shape about that?

Not this guy --> Meet Gordon Warren Epperly of Juneau, Alaska.

Not content to merely traffic in absurd and uninformed arguments about PDF layering (which he also does), he has filed suit to challenge Barack Hussein Obama's Presidential eligibility on grounds that are far more honest (and likely more representative) for the "birthers."

Here's the crux of Mr. Epperly's argument...

"As stated above, for an Individual to be a candidate for the office of president of the United States, the candidate must meet the qualifications set forth in the United States Constitution and one of those qualifications is that the Candidate shall be a “natural born citizen” of the United States. As Barack Hussein Obama II is of the “mulatto” race, his status of citizenship is founded upon the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Before the [purported] ratification of the Fourteenth Amendment, the race of “Negro” or “mulatto” had no standing to be citizens of the United States under the United States Constitution.

As the fourteenth amendment is only a grant of “civil rights” and not a grant of “political rights” Barack Hussein Obama II does not have and “political rights” under any provision of the United States Constitution to hold any Public Office of the United States government."

Got that? The sitting President is, like, black. According to Mr. Epperly (PO BOX 34358 Juneau, Alaska 99803), that should preclude him from office.

Also, it's worth noting that Mr. Epperly refers to the historically factual ratification of the 14th Amendment as "purported."

After all, it was never shown on Fox! How do we really know it's not another Commie-Progressive-Nazi-Liberal plot?!?!

Wow.

Just... wow.