About That Cop Having Sex In Public...

Sept. 2nd, 2011
NSFW

You might have heard about the New Mexico police officer who was filmed recently having sex with a woman while in uniform, on duty, in broad daylight and on the hood of his car.


The website Gawker picked up on Albuquerque's local news channel KOB's story and, pardon the implications, this sex act went viral. You might have perhaps thought, just as I did, that there were going to be serious and immediate repercussions.

Not so much. AP reports:

"State police spokesman Tim Johnson said the investigation has been completed and the case is currently in the disciplinary process. He said investigators don't believe any criminal acts occurred but that the officer will be held accountable for his actions." EMPHASIS OURS

Wow. I bet it feels really liberating to be that above the law.

Call me nutty, but I am pretty sure that if I were to take my partner to New Mexico and someone recorded our act of wild, animal passion, in a parking lot, on the hood of my car, we'd both be charged with... well... something.

Cyntia Hsu, writing for Findlaw, seems to have parsed the reasoning behind the lack of criminal prosecution:

"The uniformed cop in this situation certainly was doing something relatively indecent. But, the only witness to the incident seems to be the security footage (and the small dog)." EMPHASIS OURS

That poor, confused dog. You can't tell me this was a victimless act. 

It gets even better. Count me as utterly un-surprised that the officer caught with his dick in a ringer has been failing to show up in court since the incident. This has resulted in the dismissal of dozens of cases. What's more, he apparently is the same police officer who already had been in the news for having allowed a dangerous criminal to escape from his custody. That criminal committed a brutal sex crime before being recaptured.



By the way, the officer's name, which was being "withheld by authorities," is allegedly BERT LOPEZ.

So. It occurs to me: If you find yourself in Albuquerque, New Mexico looking to by a car, and someone named BERT LOPEZ is selling a car... check that hood out really carefully for indentation damage.

Oh, and make sure it has been washed.

Just sayin'.